Iâ€™m such a total jerk lately. ohâ€¦ Iâ€™m so fucked up, Iâ€™m jobless, and nearly homeless..
Fortunately I got enough money in my bank account to support my fucking life for next 15 days, coz it is impossible to beg something from my fams since Iâ€™m a jobless motherfucker. So Iâ€™m counting on my own now.
This is just a shame of me. I canâ€™t even dare my self to show my face in front them. Thatâ€™s why I decided to live far away from them and come home only if they need me.
Iâ€™m just an useless dickhead. Maybe you know how does it feels if youâ€™re a grown up men and jobless, and if youâ€™re not a jerk, then you wont ask anything to your fams. Coz men has to face their own destiny.
I donâ€™t have a job for this pass 1 month, coz I donâ€™t want to have one. Why? donâ€™t ask me why coz I donâ€™t know either. Itâ€™s like, there are so many confusions in my head that wont let me to do the right things in the right time. So many of them!
Iâ€™ve blamed my self for all this shits. For all the things I didnâ€™t do before. For being an useless men ever live. For ainâ€™t doing things to support my fams.
But whatâ€™s the point off all this shits? I donâ€™t even try to do things to show that Iâ€™m a good son. Iâ€™m not like my friends, they study in university, they work and live on their own, their parents must be proud of them.
Arrgghhhhâ€¦. Iâ€™m such a big embarrassment they ever had. I could commit suicide if I donâ€™t love â€˜em.
I donâ€™t expect anyone help in this situation, except if they could give me a better things to do instead of wandering around my boarding house until next 2 weeks before I go to Denpasar to apply for a job aboard.